---------------------------RIGHT NOW--------------------------------

Wearing:  A very innocuous get-away outfit:  A nondescript red cloak, a hat that went out of fashion several ages ago, a silk scarf, a huge signet ring, a fake mustachio, and a beltpouch full of explosive powder.

Eating:  Raken garden salad.

Drinking:  Rum.

Thinking about:  Burn, me, that Daughter of Nine Moons is alluring ... to a pedophile!  Which I am not!

Listening to:  Bad advice from twenty different idiots.

Talking to:  My horse.  Good Pips.

-----------------IN THE LAST 24 HOURS------------------------------

Cried:  You would, too.

Met someone new:  Bethamin.  Nice lady ... FOR A BLOODY EVIL SUL'DAM!

Cleaned your room:  Someone has to set a proper example for Olver.  I'll get right on it.  Tomorrow.

Done laundry:  A flash of a smile will get a woman to do that for you.

-----------------DO YOU BELIEVE IN---------------------------------

Yourself:  When I'm sober.

Your friends:  Well, I keep seeing a flaming swirl of color in my head every time I think of them, so yes.

Tooth Fairy:  I've seen her.  She punched me in the mouth, and never paid me for the teeth she took.

Destiny:  Burn me, people WRITE prophecy about guys like me.

Faith:  I have faith that I'm doomed.  Thank you, bloody snakey and foxy folks.

--------------------------IN THEORY---------------------------------

What would you do if you had a big win in the lottery?  First of all, I HAVE had a bloody big win in the lottery.  I use it to pay for my personal army and assorted thugs and spies.  Second of all, I can always win the lottery again if I run out.

Where would you retire to?  Well, it seems I'll be retiring to the planet Seanchan with my cold, calculating, bald, and terrifying wife.  Being ta'veren sucks.  I'm gonna go cry now.  I'd better make use of those eyes while I've still got them both.

If you could eat lunch with one famous person, who would it be?  Myself.  I don't like the other famous people.

What characteristics do you despise?  Flat-chested girls.  Bloody lords who can give orders to kill me.  Sore losers in gambling parlors.

Who would you hate to be left in a room with?  That blood-drinking gholam that can rip people's heads off.  Rand thinks he has worries?

--------------------------FRIENDS & LIFE----------------------------

Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend?  My future wife-to-be plans on making me her slave.  Aludra is just using me for sex, and I let her because I'm lonely and I want a discount on her explosives.  I wish I had a boyfriend, but that's really frowned upon in these parts.

Like anyone?  I'd really like to get to know Selucia in a more intimate way, but I have a mortal fear of her owner.

Have a true love?  Blood and bloody ashes!  Will you define those terms?

Who have you known longest of your friends?  Rand the bloody Dragon Reborn, Perrin bloody Goldeneyes, Egwene the stupid puppet Amyrlin, and Nynaeve.  She's okay in comparison.

Who have you known the least amount of time?  The bloody Daughter of the Nine Moons.  And her slaves.

Who's the loudest?  Valan Luca.  At least he takes gold to shut up.

Who's the shyest?  Selucia, for all her bosoms, doesn't have much to say!  And that's quite alluring to a rogue like me.

Who's the weirdest?  Tuon.  It's not everyday you meet a bald girl with authority over an entire flaming continent.

Who do you go to for stuff?  Aludra.  Valan Luca.  Thom Merrilin.  And Rand, burn me, if I happen to be staying in a nation he's conquered.

Who do you cry to?  I cry alone, all by myself.  Or into a bosom if a woman happens to be handy.

When you cried the most:  Don't you think you're getting a little bloody personal?

What's the best feeling in the world?  Escaping imminent death.  There's no rush like it, and trust me, I should know!

Worst feeling:  Being hung from a magical tree by freaky aliens wearing leather made out of human skin, without understanding why.  I hate when stuff like that happens.

~ mat